Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
