Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just google imaged poop.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
