dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
