hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
