If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
