im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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