dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just high enough for therapy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
