three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
