Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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