Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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