What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I see more hoeing in ur future
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