Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
