I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
