Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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