there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
