To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
