I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
