i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
