So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
