I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
