I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
