Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
