Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
