oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I love you.
Bad choice
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
