I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
