Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
