I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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