oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
