if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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