no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
