I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
