We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize