no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
