He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
