Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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