Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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