not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
