when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
