I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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