I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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