# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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