Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
