Swine flu. Run for my life!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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