Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize