they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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