just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
