90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
