is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
