can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
