have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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