She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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