i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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