I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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