so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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