guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
