are you still at the devil's house?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
