Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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