I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
