I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
no you cant smoke seaweed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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