Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
