how can u be prego again
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
