the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
