We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
