Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
well you can't waste a boner
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
