does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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