bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
