I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
