I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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