my phone needs a breathalizer
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
