We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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