They should really pass out barf bags in church
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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